Saturday, July 01, 2006

Holyyyy crap! It's July already! And to make matters...different (not necessarily worse, now that I think of it) my periods have returned. Thus, it's time for another installment of things (and people) that piss me off! Jubilation!

10. Bicyclists. Not in general, only the ones I see while I'm running. I think most runners harbor a secret dislike of bikers, because while we're running our asses off (literally and figuratively) they whiz by at twenty miles an hour, barely breaking a sweat.
9. Fox news. I watched it last time I was on the treadmill at the YMCA (not by choice...they just had it turned to that station) and I seriously considered whether it would be worth it to hurl my Walkman through the screen.
8. When you're running and your undies get all bunched up in your personal areas, but there are a lot of other people around and you can't pull them out. Sometimes I pull them out anyway.
7. The fact that I suck at returning phone calls and emails. I'm working on improving this, but it still makes me feel like a loser, and so I let things slide until I have 9 unheard messages on my phone and just can't ignore it anymore.
6. Fireworks. Not the safe ones (ie, sparklers, or the big shows one just goes and watches), but the kind my neighbors shoot off from approximately June 30th through July 10th, preferably while shirtless and drunk ("Go get Daddy another beer while he lights this M-80, sweetheart.") Also, they scare the hell out of my dog. We've considered getting him doggy Valium.
5. The fact that Applebee's (I didn't go there by choice, it goes without saying) has exactly three dishes, all of them appetizers, that are vegetarian. All of them contain so much cheese that I wonder if they aren't getting kickbacks from the Dairy Board.
4. Pawn shops. Definitely one of the top 5 most depressing places I can think of.
3. People who claim to be into 'indie music,' then later reveal that their idea of indie is the White Stripes, U2 and Weezer (all of which I like, but none of which are particularly underground nowadays).
2. People who drive 10 miles under the speed limit the whole time you're behind them, then decide to kick it up to Mach 3 once you've passed them or gotten into the other lane. This is known as BPDD, or Bi-Polar Driving Disorder.
1. That there are literally a half-dozen gay bars within a half-hour of my house, but none that cater specifically to the lesbian crowd. Also the fact that I 'pass' so effectively that unless I'm wearing my "Hello, I'm Queer" shirt, everyone assumes I'm straight. Maybe it's the long hair, and the fact that I never learned to play softball.

No comments: