Thursday, May 17, 2007

Fun (and possibly even useful) German phrases of varying slanginess

(I have considered offering false translations, a la the 'My hovercraft is full of eels' Monty Python sketch, but as I would not be able to see the confusion and non-stop laffs such a prevarication would provide, I have refrained. Would still love to see an 8th grade student telling his German teacher to lick his boots, though).

Haben Sie eine Kippe? Wenn ich schwimme, rauche ich gern.
Do you have a cigarette? I like to smoke when I swim.

Ich habe nichts gestohlen, vertraue ich Ihnen.
I haven't stolen anything, I promise you.

Ich bin kein Alkoholiker--am Oktoberfest tanzt jedermann nackt am Tisch!
I'm not an alcoholic--during Octoberfest everyone dances naked on the tables!

Schauen Sie mich bitte nicht so an. Seien sie doof? Pissen Sie auf!
Please don't look at me like that. Are you deaf? Piss off!

Guten Morgen. Koennen Sie mir bitte sagen, wo man gutes Pot finden koennte? [Pause] Was meinen sie, ich bin nicht im Amsterdam? Wo bin ich dann, und wie bin ich hier gekommen?
Hello. Could you please tell me where one could find good pot? [pause] What do you mean I'm not in Amsterdam? Where am I then, and how did I get here?

Morgen gehen wir nach Polen. Sie haben keine Ahnung, dass wir Sie besuchen werden.
Tomorrow we're going to Poland. They have no idea that we're paying them a visit.

And now you see what getting a degree in German language and literature from an Ivy League university can do for you! Impress your friends. Frighten the dog with gutteral exclamations! Invade Poland (again) or France--the food there is better.

1 comment:

Hammad said...

schmetterlingsfl├╝gel, schneeflockentanz
lockende winde in kleiner distanz
duftende bl├╝ten in meiner hand
tautropfen schimmern, seidiger glanz

i miss you and happy birthday and maybe our paths will cross again