Saturday, May 19, 2007

Hilarious Mash-up of old sex-ed films.

Everyone remembers watching 'the film.' Some looked forward to it ardently, others stayed up the night before plotting how to fake illness so as to avoid hearing their teacher/nurse say words like 'menstruation' and 'penis.' (I was in the latter category, what with the Midwestern Methodist upbringing and all...when we had to memorize the ten commandments for Sunday School in third grade, one of my classmates asked, "What's adultery?" Oy. Our Sunday School teacher blushed and stammered for what seemed like forever before she finally gave us the dirt). We had three separate films--one in fourth grade, that just laid out the basics of puberty and periods; one in fifth grade that talked a little about what the boys were going through; and finally, in sixth grade, the whole shebang--sex and all (though of course these films were the very opposite of sex-positive).

When the day finally came, after lunch (so as to optimize the chances that someone would end up puking from the nervous tension) the girls were herded into one room, the boys into another--we (the ladies) had our teachers and the guidance counselor to explain things to us, while the boys were saddled with the gym teacher and the principal. I actually felt sorrier for them than for us. The day after, my friend Doug told me that, in an effort to eradicate the shame attached to various words, the principal had the entire class full of sixth-grade boys say them in unison--mostly the names of various anatomical structures. Doug's cheeks reddened even as he recounted it.

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