Thursday, May 24, 2007

It's 12 o'clock...do you know where your inferior vena cava is?

Feelin' like a brand new woman (A woman with heart!)

SO...I have a job now, really and officially, as an assistant at a research group in K.C. Which is great, because I was contemplating the unappetizing possibilities of having to take a job as, say, a Starbucks barista ("Ma'am, if you're going to have a triple chocolate caramel macchiato, I don't think light vs. regular whipped topping is really an issue you should be hassling me about." Yeah, I really can't see myself in retail--foodservice or otherwise). And it's cardiovascular research, no less, which sounds really swanky--though perhaps not as swanky as neurophysiology--with a shot at lead-author credit on papers. And I'll get to do some of my own little projects, maybe *she said, jumping up and down like a little kid who's been promised candy.*
I'll be recruiting/keeping track of study participants, as well...which may be a full-time job (hyuk hyuk) in itself, as (according to the website, anyway) there are over 100 clinical trials currently underway at the Mid-America Heart Institute. Other cool tidbits I learned from the site:

MAHI opened the first US Women's Heart Center in 1994.

They're host to the "only heart-transplant team in the region" (they don't specify "region," but I'm going to guess they mean western Missouri and Kansas, maybe Arkansas and Iowa too...because surely, surely Wash-U/ Barnes-Jewish Hospital in St. Louis has a transplant team. This reminds me of the old hedge-your-bets academic paper-writing trick: write generally, but not so generally that someone will call you out for it; specifically, but not so specifically that someone can actually pin you down and say you're wrong). And this is just a guess, but I bet that Valentine's Day is crazy around there...how many hearts can you put up in the waiting room before it becomes a fire hazard?

Oh man, that gives me an awesome idea...next year, I'm not going to give traditionally heart-shaped Valentines...oh no, no, no, that won't do at all. What I'm going to do is draw an anatomically correct heart on a piece of cardstock, vena cavae and pulmonary artery/vein included! Macabre, you say? Could someone receiving such a card, and finding within it declarations of love and affection, be made uneasy? Be reminded of a certain Edgar Allan Poe tale, or perhaps a book from R.L. Stine's adolescent oeuvre (who else remembers him? Hands? Anyone?)..? Nah, not the people who know what a science/ medicine geek I am. Which is to say, not anyone who knows me even reasonably well.

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