Wednesday, August 01, 2007

QUITTING

I've been smoking for 4 years, with one 6-month break (after which I stupidly returned to the nic)...until, that is, 18 hours ago. When I smoked what I hope will be my last cigarette ever.

Now, however, I feel like I've been shot in the head at close range (wait--that seems like a bit of hyperbole. I just WISH I'd been shot in the head at close range). I planned to write a really clever, incisive report of quitting, but it turns out that I'm not capable of those quick little turns of phrase I usually spit out. Oscar Wilde-ish. Currently I'm in more of a "Smoke. Want now." sort of place, more like Oscar from the "Odd Couple." Strangely enough, I don't feel a lot of anxiety. I anticipated feeling like I was trapped in a room with seventeen rabid wolverines, but instead I'm sort of floating through the day. I feel kind of high, frankly, which could be a plus when it comes to getting through the day--grab some Cheetos, look through the patient records while listening to "Dark Side of the Moon," and just chillllll.

It is entirely possible that I've spoken too soon, and that at some later hour the wolverines will come.

By the way, I just heard Beck's "Nausea" on the radio, and I have to ask: what the hell? I know Beck doesn't 'mean' anything per se, and the dada groove of "Loser" is one of my super-favorite songs to run to, but this polyphonic nonsensical insanity on EVERY. Single. Song? Come back to reality and write some lyrics. Seriously. (Is that the impending irritability? Oh no).

1 comment:

Kelsey said...

Good luck!!!!!