Sunday, September 02, 2007

I'm trying to quit smoking (again), this time with the assistance of the patch. I have to say, it's taken the edge off...about like a nail file would take the edge off an axe. Anyway, when the time came to go patch-shopping, I was cheap, so I bought the CVS brand instead of the more expensive Nicoderm (or even more expensive CLEAR Nicoderm). So when I take the patch out of its little packet, not only is it not particularly flesh-toned, it also has the words "Nicotine transdermal system, 7 mg over 24 hours" emblazoned on it. Might as well say, "I am a smoker who will try and give cigarettes and/or lung cancer to your newborn infant if you don't watch me." Sorry, EX-smoker (all the self-help booklets on quitting say it's important to begin thinking of yourself as an ex-smoker). So far I have one day 'clean.'

Did you know cigarettes are approximately as addictive as heroin and cocaine? And that more smokers that coke-users die from diseases related to the habit? Granted, hemorrhaging your entire blood supply out your nose or going into cardiac arrest is pretty dramatic (those cokesters are drama queens) but anyone who's seen a little old lady holding her portable oxygen tank in one hand and her cigarette in the other will agree that nicotine is a cruel mistress. PS- I have seen just such a thing, and I'm always afraid she's going to vaporize the whole block when the oxygen finally catches: "This is Bill Billingsley for KCTV news, and we're here outside St. Crucifix's hospital where an explosion took place only moments ago. Was it a terrorist, or the result of high-pressure combustible gas meeting an elderly woman's Winston? We'll be right back."

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