Friday, March 21, 2008

Quotables from this week

I.T. specialist: "We're just trying to limit the number of printers that have access to medical records, for privacy compliance purposes."
Anne (in my head): "No, you're pissing me the fuck off is what you're doing, and I suggest you stop it immediately."
This after 2 days trying to get them to hook my printer up to the medical records network (I can view but not print) since the nearest authorized printer is in the CVICU and I doubt they want me in there printing things for my studies, especially since a lot of the things I'm printing are EKGs from old AMIs. Imagine, as it comes out of the printer and a nurse picks it up: "One, we don't have this patient. And two, what the F*CK! Code STEMI! Code STEMI!" Yeah.

B: "Where's Will with our pizza? We sent him out to get it almost an hour ago."
Anne: "He probably stopped to look at something shiny."
It was Minsky's Nature's Way pizza, by the way. Whole wheat crust, onions, peppers, tomato, artichoke hearts and almonds. Mmmm.

Therapist: "Try opening up to people. I think I'm pretty familiar with your internal dialogue--do you think anyone's response is going to be as un-nurturing as you anticipate?"
A: "Probably not."
T: "I guarantee you, no one is going to talk to you as harshly as you talk to yourself."
A: "Unless I hired a dominatrix or something."
T: "Actually, even then I doubt it."

Will (this will explain, partially, why he's the sort of guy who might be an hour late because he stopped to look at something shiny. Also, we were both kinda drunk--it was St. Patrick's Day): So, do you think there are really leprechauns?
A: Huh?
W: I mean, for a long time I thought dwarves were just in fairy tales, like Snow White and stuff, and now they've got that show about them on the Learning Channel. So maybe there really are leprechauns, too.
A: That's achondroplasic dwarfism, man. I don't think there's any such thing as achondroplasic leprechaunism.
B: They DO both like to be called "The Little People."

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