Wednesday, May 14, 2008

I went to the doctor today, to get the whole "whoo-hoo, non-exertional tachycardia and syncope" thing re-checked, and I have to say: the walls in that office are thin. Like, "this must be a HIPAA violation somehow" thin. (See how this stuff has gotten to me? I think about HIPAA even when I'm not at work! They're inside my head, I tell you!)

Woman In The Next Room was describing what I'm assuming was a skin infection to the poor medical student in there with her (I go to a teaching clinic--not an 'I don't have insurance so put me on a sliding scale and let the interns poke me with sticks' teaching clinic; it's a classy joint. Think of it as a 'teaching clinic' the way you'd think of Mayo in Rochester as a 'teaching hospital.' Only not THAT good):
"Four centimeters by four centimeters. It hurt like there was a boil comin' in, you know? Only it never come to a head, so I tries to ignore it." Oh my. This is the very, very thin, rather unkept woman I saw in the waiting room. No judgements, despite the fact that she looked a lot like the people living near my grandma's rural Missouri estate, and who turned out to be manufacturing (and consuming, 'cause you always have to taste a little of what you bake) large quantities of crystal meth. Just sayin', I wouldn't be surprised to find out that this was MRSA. I tried really, really hard not to listen, but there weren't any magazines in the patient rooms, or even any pictures on the walls to distract me. Also I'm inherently nosy.
"Then my boyfriend, he says, 'The skin's turnin' black, it's dead, go to an emergency room,' and I go, and it was dead..." Oh sweet suffering Jesus.
Nurse: "I see they gave you a prescription for antibiotics in the ER...have you finished those yet?"
"No, I never filled 'em. I figured they gave me a shot in the emergency room, so I didn't need to take no more pills."
At which point I wanted to take off my shoe, bang it on the wall, and yell, "YOU are the cause of antibiotic resistance in this country! YOU are why I had to take three courses of antibiotics to treat one case of pneumonia last year! YOUR new name is Typhoid I-can't-fill-a-four-dollar-Keflex-prescription Freaking Mary!"
It also came out, in the course of the conversation, that the ER doc noted on her chart that she was 'not to receive further narcotics from the facility.'
"I don't know why he would say that." That particular, slightly softened, just-a-little-bit-higher voice of a person who is lying like a rug.
"It says here you're on *mumble mumble* and Flexeril...it says in the ER notes you take 10 mg of Flexeril a day, but our records say 30. Someone must have made a mistake...could you tell me which it is?" Oy veh.

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