Monday, May 19, 2008

I've read that one 'therapy' for chronic worriers--people with generalized anxiety disorder, OCD, and folks who are just nervous Nellies by nature--is to set aside time specifically to worry. Worry like hell for ten minutes, or twenty, schedule 10:30 to 10:40 as "worry time" in your DayTimer, and for the rest of your day forget about it. In that spirit, here are some of the things I'm worrying about right now--and once I've typed them out, I am resolutely going to ignore them for the rest of the day.

1. Finding an apartment/therapist/psychiatrist/group of friends/place of worship/girlfriend/good pizza place in St. Louis (If you have all those things, I find there's very little else to want)
2. Global warming and climate change
3. The impending gas crunch, and whether I'll be able to get around StL without a car
4. How I'm going to juggle two appointments on Thursday when it's my first week back at work after vacation and I can't exactly ask for the day off
5. How much I'm going to miss one of my housemates, who's moving back to California on Tuesday
6. The caloric content of that cinnamon roll I ate for "breakfast" (breakfast in quotes because meals imply some sort of redeeming nutritional value, of which a cinnamon roll--especially from the hospital cafeteria--has absolutely none. Why, by the way, do hospitals always have such incredibly unhealthy food in their cafes? Is it just a job security thing?)
7. When I want to have my last day at work--the middle of June? The end? I was planning to go all the way to the end of July, but screw it...this could very well be the last summer off I ever ever have, and I'll be damned if I'm going to spend it abstracting data and cold-calling people for clinical studies.
8. The extent to which I've accrued overdue fines on library books, and wondering at what point librarians in black leather thigh-high boots are going to show up at my door with riding crops (actually, I think I've seen a web site or two devoted to just such a scenario--mrowr!)
9. The fact that I promised myself I'd quit smoking before I started medical school (it was a lot wittier to say when I was a sophomore in college)
10. Whether or not I'm going to put in the window AC unit that is currently sitting in my closet, seeing as it's going to get almost to 90 F today
11.Whether a year off school has made my mind flabby and inert, like Renee Zellweger in the Bridget Jones movies, and whether I'll be able to whip it back into uber-toned, quasi-anorexic Renee-Zellweger-in-Chicago shape
12. Whether I should run the Hospital Hill 10 K, like I planned to, or bow out (it's nationally known as a very difficult, very hilly run--but I feel like doing the 10K instead of the half-marathon is already a compromise...hmmm...)
13. Filling out all the financial aid paperwork I need to do, because I'm not made of money and my parents have made it very clear that they're done providing finiancial assistance for my education
14. The disappearing honeybees--mentioned in a waaay previous post--who are soon going to affect US agriculture in a big way
15. The fact that my uterus, ovaries, pituitary and hypothalamus appear to be getting their signals crossed, resulting in my having--while not yet 'real' periods--irregular, annoying, unpredictable spotting a few times a month. I don't have much money in the 'new underwear' budget, yo? And I wouldn't have worn my date skivvies if I'd known this was going to happen.

Self-indulgent navel-gazing over, for the time being. My apologies, and thanks for your patience.
Affirmation of the day, just dorky enough for me to laugh when I say it: "Jesus thinks I'm awesome." And he does.

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