Saturday, June 21, 2008
I know it's been a while--I've been busy (busier since finishing up my job? Mais oui, jolie!).
What have I been doing? Going to numerous therapy appointments (why be shy about it?), riding my bike to said appointments, to the library, to meet people for lunch (it's a Schwinn Cimarron that looks just like the one above--purty, huh?) which means I'm getting a little bit of 'biker thigh.' Now, because I run so much I don't think I'm ever going to build up the kind of biker thighs that really scare me--you know, the ones the size of small Latin American countries?--but there's a bit more definition than there used to be. Long distance running will give you awesome calves and a butt you could bounce a quarter on, but unless you're doing a lot of hills or sprint training you're just not going to get a lot going on in the thigh department. I've been sort of training for a triathlon, or at least that's what I'm telling myself, so I'm biking 3 to 12 miles a day, depending on what I have to do that day (OK, OK, I know that's not really training--shut up already) and running 3 to 6 miles. Speaking of therapy appointments, d'you think there may be some body image work left to do? God I hate my thighs.
I've also been writing a paper--I want to submit it to "Feminist Psychology"--about how I think Borderline Personality Disorder is a bullshit diagnosis that 95% of the time gets pinned on "difficult" women with trauma histories when a PTSD or "Complex PTSD" diagnosis might be more appropriate (thanks for the new diagnostic category, Judith Herman! Props to you too, Mary C. Zanarini and Bessel Van Der Kolk! Seriously, I know I'm a dork, but I would SPAZ OUT with DELIGHT if I ever had a chance to meet BA van der Kolk or MC Zanarini. If I met Marsha Linehan, on the other hand, I might spaz out...just not, necessarily, with delight. I can say this now; if all goes according to plan and I end up practicing psychiatry and publishing extensively, slamming a colleague will suddenly be in poor taste. I may be a head case in some respects, but I'm not about to pick a fight with the woman who invented DBT--not least because I suspect she could have me killed). Or, hell, in a lot of cases, a diagnosis of "This woman was severely and chronically abused--sexually, physically, and emotionally." I'm really not being flip--I think it's fair to say that having your parents beat and/or fuck you the entire time you're growing up gives you carte blanche in the psychopathology department. Speaking of which, everyone who works with 'Borderline' patients (don't you love scare quotes for being the very bitchiest punctuation marks?) should read Judith Herman, MD's "Trauma and Recovery: The aftermath of violence, from domestic abuse to political terror." I picked up a copy at Half Price Books a few weeks ago and the cashier looked at the title and said, "So, something fun to read by the pool?" All right, light summer reading it ain't, but it's still very, very good.
Holy crap, a Google search for Ms. Zanarini just revealed she gave $1300 to the Hillary Clinton campaign! I must admit that makes me like her even more.
And I've been painting and knitting and watching The Daily Show and the Colbert Report on Hulu. Who needs a TV when you have broadband access? Oh, yeah, and studying biochemistry to get ready for MEDICAL SCHOOL. You know, in August. That whole thing. Yeah.
I need to find an apartment in St. Louis, but every time I start thinking about all the preparations I still have to do I start hyperventilating. I'm going to have to do it soon, though, lest I end up living in a box in Forest Park--or in the library.