Sunday, July 06, 2008

Really excited...but also scared sh*tless

So...August 12th, huh? Orientation, huh? Finally living the dream I've had since I was approximately 12 years old, which has of course grown and matured since then, but has become no less powerful...and of course I'm thinking, good God in heaven, what if I screw this up?

I know I have a few readers from the medical professions, and so I'd just like to ask...any good advice? Anything to avoid, or to be ABSOLUTELY CERTAIN to do? Study tips? Dealing-with-cadaver tips? Tips on how to knock off the person with the highest average in A&P while making it look like an accident (kidding, doesn't have to look like an accident, as long as I don't look like a suspect)? And oh, God, how I hate orientations...I'd rather just jump in and DO things, not deal with the interminable "here's your badge...sign this...what's your SSN? Sign this fee...listen to this person drone on and on and on about irrelevant bullshit that you won't remember for even half an hour after this lecture is over...and now, mingle!"

I hate mingling. I suck at mingling, unless there's alcohol involved, in which case I suspect I still suck at it but am no longer aware of that fact (there's only an inverse relationship between BAC and perceived awkwardness). If I weren't so opposed to the medicalization of every damn personality trait in American society, I'd say I might have Social Anxiety Disorder. Seriously. The very word "mingle" makes me break out in a cold sweat. Sure, I'm debonair and enchanting (as if there were any doubt in anyone's mind) but in my head I'm still the same awkward kid I was at 13. I suppose that's true of everyone. I suppose that's why alcohol is called a social lubricant, and why wine features so prominently at so many graduate school functions. That and pizza. Though usually not at the same time.

So...any advice?


Anonymous said...

RE: Mingling help. Just deal with one person at a time, ignore the group. Imagine that person is more shy and retiring than you and you want to help them out. If it turns out they are chatty, you get to shut up and have a free ride for a while. It does get better with age if you want it to, but it never totally goes away.
Aunt Susie

sej_50 said...

so i just got the postcard you sent me cuz it had to be sent back to kc after i left. but i loved it and it still brightened my day. thanks!