Thursday, July 09, 2009

Helen Mirren...in a bikini (?!?) at 63

So apparently this picture was published to the world at large in Dec. of last year, and I just wasn't paying attention. Go ahead and google "Helen Mirren bikini." I'll wait.

Holy Mary Mother of Christ, is she not gorgeous? I had previously set my "attract-dar" at an upper limit of 40, with a few notable exceptions (exemplia gratiae: Dame Mirren herself, the lovely Catherine Deneuve, the ravishing Isabelle Huppert, and the incomparable Meryl Streep). But looking at old magazines in my therapist's waiting room today, I was accosted--that is really the only appropriate word--by that photo of Helen Mirren, who is old enough not just to be my mother, but in fact to be my grandmother. So, as the kids say, what gives?

One could, if one were bloody-minded, point to my own psychological pecadilloes and mommy-issues. However. There remains another option: hotness is not in fact a package with a sell-by date. Self-confidence, good health, a sense of humor (and good Goddess, those ode-worthy breasts that would have moved even Homer, and we all know how those Greeks were)...these are the makings of attractiveness. I am not ashamed to say it. Even on my 200 mg of notoriously libido-killing Zoloft, today in that waiting room, a photograph of a 'mature woman' gave me serious physical needs.

Further disclosure: This issue of People (for such it was) had pictures of other "older women"--defined in Hollywood parlance as anyone significantly post-pubertal--who had undergone cosmetic surgery, or had other assorted procedures in order to 'age gracefully.' 30 year olds getting Botox. Poor body-obsessed Janice Dickinson, who should by now (at least in my opinion) be focused more on her legacy, such as it is, than her legs, with full-body lifts and Lord knows what else. None of these women--especially not those who'd been tucked and implanted and sanded into oblivion--held a candle to the au naturel (as far as I know) Ms. Mirren. So there.

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